Overwhelming grief and sadness.

Here we are, just days away from the second anniversary of your death, and it is all I can think of. 

I miss you My Darling Rod so much sometimes I can't catch my breath. I'm so lonely without you. We used to talk about things so much. Theres no sounding-board, no balance, no reason to exist in my life anymore. My heart aches and my head hurts so much from crying all the time.

I can’t stand this empty feeling that I have all the time, all the time, unending. I have no control over my emotions. My heart is broken. I’m breaking into pieces. 

You gave me the great happiness My Darling Rod. You were my saviour, my strength. You were in every way all that I could wish for. I can’t fight this overwhelming sadness at loosing you alone. I miss you so so much. I miss the cuddles and hugs and snuggling and holding hands. Oh how I miss holding your hand. All the happiness i ever had was the time I had with you. You were patient and loving with me and an incredibly good man, best friend, loving husband and wonderful father. Everything has gone from me since you died. My grief overwhelms me. I don't think I can go on without you. I'm really trying to. I really really am but I don't have the strength.